Well, I have to admit that this is my first time attempting a blog. I usually stick to Facebook and the occasional tweet which I still haven’t mastered. Anyway, a lot has happened in my life in the last couple of years and it has left me, physically, a little different from before. So during my journey to recovery, emotionally, physically and spiritually, I decided to document the events along the way.
I guess for people to read any of my blogs and understand where I am coming from, you have to know the history and how I got to this point. Even though, the events were not funny at the time, I try to find humor in everything I can with this, because it seems to be my best way of coping.
I am a happily married mother of 4 children. All of which, I think are wonderful, of course. In approximately 2002, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. You know, that condition that some people say isn’t real or they look at you and say, “Oh, you mean you’re depressed”. I get so tired of explaining, that I finally just laugh and say, “YES, that one! I’m so happy you understand!” In reality, I’m thinking in my mind, you fool, you have no idea what goes on with me. You obviously have no idea the pain I go through, the days I’m so exhausted, I can’t drive, the muscle cramps, blurred vision, IBS…well, I think you get the idea now. So that is where this started. With FM that was really starting to cause problems in my life.
After some time, it became apparent one day that I didn’t have enough to deal with. On May 9, 2011, I got on our family’s golf cart as I have done many times before. It was probably about 6:00pm. (Before you ask, there was actually no alcohol involved.) My 2 oldest daughters were on it with me and a dear friend. I proceeded to drive down our driveway, which was very steep I might add. About 45 seconds into what was supposed to be a casual drive, I realized the brakes did not work! Before I could wrap my head around things and figure out the best thing to do, we had gained a lot of speed and about to head out into the road. I decided to try to ride it out and make the right hand turn. It didn’t work. Instead it sent the golf cart slinging hard to the left turning over.
Once everything stopped, including us, I was on my stomach and trying desperately to find the girls to make sure they were ok. Visually, I couldn’t make much out, but noted in my mind all their voices and they sounded ok. That’s when this funny feeling started settling in. I can’t even say it was pain. Well not until after I tried to move anyway. Apparently, I screamed out which brought all of them to check on me.
I will shorten this now. It was bad. But not having insurance at the time, I convinced myself I had pulled a muscle. It took my husband and his friend to help me stand and as I did, my left leg immediately crossed over my right leg and there was no getting it back where it should be. Yep! That’s a pulled muscle alright. Get me in the house, help me lay down and I will be better in the morning. Haha. (I will save the story of them putting me back on the golf cart and hooking it up to a 4 wheeler to get me back to the house, for later. ) Little did I know how much my life was about to change. I have no idea how, but I managed to lay on the couch till 8:00am the next morning without being able to move and in some very bad pain.
The next thing on the agenda, obviously, was an emergency room. Preferably one very close. I was told there I had broken the femoral head and dislocated my hip. Some idiot doctor put me to sleep, “popped it back in”, woke me up and said, light weight baring and oh yea, this could be bad and you might not be able to walk when this is over. Go home, get some rest and follow-up in the office. Which I could have dealt with, had my hip not dislocated again as I was getting off the table. Of course I screamed. The nurses tracked the doctor down. And in his best effort to follow his doctor’s oath, he said…..”send her home”. The follow-up appointment was 4 days later. That entire time I had a dislocated and broken hip.
I had to share all of that to help you understand where I am now. Once we got to that follow-up visit, everything became a blur. Doctors and nurses were in a panic, I’m hurting, the doctor is on the phone with another hospital and he basically says, the surgery you need can only be done by Grady Hospital or Atlanta Medical Center. We ended up at Atlanta Medical. In addition to the femoral head fracture I had broken the the cup of the hip and some other fractures.
In less than a year, I went through 6 different surgeries. We put hardware in to repair it, we took it out to make it feel better, then we did a total hip replacement so it would actually work. Then guess what…of course, it set up major strep infection. The last 3 surgeries were to remove tissue that had been infected and replace parts that had just been put in but were now covered with infection. I now have this very attractive “dent” in my hip because so much tissue was removed.
That last surgery was 8 months ago. Today, I still struggle to walk and have to use a cane, walker or wheelchair depending on the day and how far I have to go. The last 8 months there has been one unrelated symptom after another begin. To the point that daily functions are extremely difficult and some days impossible. So I am about to undergo more testing. Starting with testing for MS and other conditions.
In dealing with all the pain and loss of ability to do certain things for myself, I almost lost it all together mentally. So on August 1st, when I was home by myself, I cried out to God to help me deal with this and recommitted my life to Him.
Tomorrow starts 2013. God has graciously given me peace about my situation. But there is still a lot to do. So this year, my hopes are to find out exactly what is going on. Also, to start getting out of the house more even if it means I take a wheelchair. I don’t like the idea of that because I feel it draws attention to me and that makes me very uncomfortable. So I have decided to make it fun or at least…funNY.
So here I begin my blogs. Sharing with you, what are probably about to become very humorous moments of me trying to adjust to all this still, as well as some emotional moments when the only strength I find, is strength through Jesus Christ.
I reflect back to Jeremiah 29:11 very often to God’s promise of a future and a hope and I hold it very close to my heart.
So, now that you know a little bit of the history, feel free to join me as I Get through by the grace of God, … Let’s do this thing!